Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
