we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
