something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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