I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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