I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
