Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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