super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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