yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
