your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
