He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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