then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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