Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
