dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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