when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize