Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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