he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize