At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
