called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I just forgot I was standing up.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
