if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
