i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
