Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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