we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
