I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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