So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
