my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
