I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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