I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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