The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
