i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
