Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
