have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
