I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sext me about skeletons
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