He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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