Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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