why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
