I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
