The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
