If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize