Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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