I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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