Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
