I understand why you refuse to be sober now
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
