How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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