My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
