Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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