im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
