And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he fucked my hip out of place.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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