I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
