Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
