It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
