You just made me feel so damn special
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize