I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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