that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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