Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
