i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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