I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
