I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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