My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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