We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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